Posted by: masugahau | March 1, 2007

America’s Next Top Hawaii Tropic Girl

Ok, perhaps the title’s exaggerating, but the girls flocking to Hollywood to try out for cycle 8 of the hit CW show have been particularly scantily clad this season. It made me wonder if they weren’t modeling for an entirely different kind of contest. Boobs and midriffs aside, this season of ANTM is already more interesting than the entire last season alone. In last night’s double whammy two part episode we met a whole bunch of slutty girls who were reduced down to twenty really fast, not without another movie style medley in which each of the girls did some odd dance or struck some odd model pose while interviewing with Tyra and her gay, black friends. Then they really modeled. They had to get dressed and go to party where they had to make contacts and strike a FIERCE pose. They Tyra acted a fool while they eliminated AGAIN. Finally we got it down to the thirteen contestants, ok, say it with me folks, who are still in the running towards becoming America’s Next Top Model. There were two plus sized models, one girl who finally got in after three cycles of auditioning, and ten other mediocre skinny women who I kind of want to drop kick. Here’s the list: (In alphabetical order) Brittany Carrigher, Cassandra Watson, Diana O’Connell, Dionne Alexander, Felicia, Jael Strauss, Jaslene Gonzalez, Kathleen DuJour, Natasha Galkina, Renee DeWitt, Samantha Francis, Sarah Vanderhaar, Whitney Cunningham


And then there was another episode. We did not have to wait very long to see the bitching, backstabbing, and bad modeling begin. First there’s an incredibly stupid contest in which the girls have to thrift shop at Goodwill and then model their outfits in the Goodwill Charity Fashion Show and Auction. The outfit with the highest bid will win a prize and since all of the girls looked like they found their clothes on the street it’s really anybody’s game. Jael (I pronounce it “jail”) rose the star, however, and won… I have no idea what. Oh, that’s right, she got to sign the donation check. How nice. It took her no time to start whining that she hoped the girls would still like her even though she won. Boo Hoo. The girls didn’t seem to care, except for Renee, the “mom”, who I can already tell is going to annoy the hell out of me. She’s twenty with a two year old and if she thinks I’m going to feel sorry for her because she was a teenage mother she had better think again. She actually picked a fight with Jael because she claims that Jael is “too nice”. Yes, that’s usually the first thing that pisses me off, too. Maybe you shouldn’t smoke, dear Renee, and then you could afford food for your kid and some common sense.

Okay, back to the point. I really do love this show J. So, then the girls modeled again. This time they were representing a “cause”, Tyra thought it was ‘REALLY CONTROVERSIAL’ and I’m not sure I agree, but w/e. There were the issues of marriage, guns, abortion, fur, and meat eating, and probably another issue I can’t remember, which means it really must not be important at all. The girls all did mediocre jobs and they had better become better models soon or I think Tyra might kick them all off. This round only took one casualty, however, and that was poor Miss Kathleen who is somewhere off in outer space most of the time. She was funny in here complete inability to realize what was going on around her or to understand the “anti-fur” issue. She left with grace, however, and that’s a change from most other departures.

Tune in next week; Wednesdays at 9 p.m. on the CW to see another model have her dreams torn to pieces and the smile ripped right off her pretty little face. Ahhh, I love reality TV.

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