Posted by: masugahau | April 11, 2007

But my ego hurts real bad!

This week on America’s Next Top Model a few girls shone and the rest proved that w/out criticism they have become a little too comfortable in their roles. The show began with my favorite Sister, Tia Mowry. She was there to teach the girls to act, and she clearly had her work cut out for her. So the girls had to wear hats and embody the characters the hats told them to be. They didn’t just say the line, “I deserve to be
America’s Next Top Model”, but they said the lines as though they were witches (Natasha), clowns (Brit), and prairie girls? (Renee). Needless to say, it was weird. Tia thought they were all good, so she must be blind, and she then gave them scripts. The girls tried to memorize their lines, and subsequently met Pedro from Napoleon Dynamite…. Lucky!!!!!!!!!

First they were melodramatic, so Renee really shined. Then they had to be divas, so Natasha looked retarded. Finally they had to be perky, so Jael looked ridiculous. Jaslene forgot her lines, and Pedro pretended it was hard to pick a winner, but he finally chose Renee. She got to pick a friend, which must have been difficult since she clearly has no friends, but she decided to pick Dionne. Their prize? T-shirts…. Cue the crickets. It was anti-climactic, but Renee seemed pleased, so who am I to judge.

The next morning, back at their pad, the girls were innocently relaxing pool side when all of the sudden… commercial break, One Tree Hill looks good this week, and if you live in Philly you know that the CW Philly is….. So Philly, So You… And we’re back. Where was I? Oh yes, the surprise, Renee and Dionne’s real prize from their acting win was a visit from their children, and in Renee’s case her husband and in Dionne’s case her mother and sister. It turns out Dionne’s mother is paralyzed because some guy shot her, which is a horrific story and I couldn’t believe they went right from that to a clip of Renee playing happily with her son. I was like, wait a second, Dionne’s mom was shot? I was also kind of sorry for Natasha who didn’t get to see her daughter, although every time I hear her talk to her husband I remember how old he is… ew.

Ok, on another note, let’s skip to the photo shoot. Mr. Jay is nuts. The girls are portraying ex-ANT Models. And then there is a Payless plug, how creative, and out come the actual models the girls are about to portray. How fun. The girls are actually posing with the girls they are posing as. Bre tries to steal granola bars from Jaslene… cute, let’s pretend Bre wasn’t completely nuts. Next up… wait, did Natasha just say she doesn’t want to do this photo shoot? Damn, another commercial. Caridee is pretending she deserved to be ANTM last season, which is completely untrue,
Melrose was robbed… Cingular doesn’t drop calls but they do constantly change their name commercial… Pussycat Dolls are down to 5… and finally we’re back. Mr. Jay thinks Natasha should get over it and just shoot and… she does. This was anti-climactic. Next Natasha shoots with Michelle via season 4, aka flesh eating skin girl. Natasha did well; she really sucked it up, good for her. Whitney, who is undeniably annoying, will be portraying Shannon from Cycle 1 who refused to pose nude. Jael is Rebecca fainting in cycle 4. This photo shoot is weird. Anyway, Brit is a triplet with Amanda and Michelle. Renee is Joanie getting her tooth removed. Dionne is Kim kissing in the limo, and she is scared of kissing a girl and apparently doesn’t even kiss her own boyfriend. Dionne is nuts. She giggled throughout the entire shoot and apparently is a lesbian now. Thank God that’s over.

Elimination. Call Out: Dionne, Natasha, Brittany, Renee, Jaslene. Bottom 2: Whitney and Jael. Before I see the loser my guess is Whitney. The real loser? Whitney, I am 3 for 3 people.

Next week at 8 on the CW… all I know is that they are going on vacation, and I think the destinationn is Australia, baby!

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